One and half stars
We had a Herald Sun reviewer in the audience last night. From the moment we appeared from behind our silly curtain with our funny faces, he was clearly exasperated. We've had absolutely glowing feedback from earlier shows so we are just enjoying our performance and getting lost in proper fun. Which is hard to do when a guy you know is a reviewer is sitting there looking like we are Yoko Ono breaking up the Beatles. His review gave one and a half stars, by the way, which people who don't think for themselves will take as gospel.
Tonight we stopped by a group of young comics, some of whom had obviously read the review, because one of them was doing something different, which was looking like he was going to pass out from not knowing what to say. We didn't mention it, just enjoyed their discomfort for a moment before moving on to go home to do damage control, which this is.
Oh, and if I want to end a sentence on "is", I will, stick your review up your arse.
And this is me talking, not Tulky, I'm the one who fights people who shit me until I'm good and happy.
We do an unusual opener that is chaotic and designed to set everyone at ease before we split up to take turns doing our sets. We've had great feedback about it! It's a wonderfully freeing bit of silliness. I love it and would like to do much more of that old school mucking around with Tulky.
The reviewer's head radiated hatred at this early point, perhaps enraged that we weren't wearing makeup like official clowns or some shit. Whatever dickhead. Bear in mind I am remembering this now but at the time simply rolled with it, because what if I was wrong and his face was just fucked through no fault of his own? Nope. Total. Ringhole. Who works for a ringhole newspaper I despise, which I make clear in my set.
My set specifically targets the Herald Sun as a much hated rag in the world of grass roots activism. I tell my stories about this in the form of "jokes", all of which elicited "laughter", but the very fact I was attacking his employer, who he apparently is married to, was enough for him to dismiss everything I said as Not Funny in a review that gave us one and a half stars. How do I know this for a fact? In a review that heaps shit on us he doesn't mention that I heap shit on the Herald Sun. What a coward.
He was so into this he spent heaps of ammo on me and simply bullshitted his way past Tulky's awesome crowd work as "not jokes". It's crowd work you fucking spanner.
It's true we are doing something a little different with this show, but not so different that people are wondering what's happening, or not laughing, or anything one and a half star-like in appearance.
The Herald Sun is an evil rag that countenances no criticism or comment on it's fucked and evil behaviour. The maggots who work for that piece of shit have to pretend it has a point other than keeping people down by keeping things exactly the same. They do this by lying about people, which I speak of in my set, so the incensed fuckwit employee had to get me somehow. Because the show is entertaining, fun and full of laughs, he had to lie. He had to lie to get around the brutal fact of an audience of laughing people. Yes, one of the people had seen the show before and will see it again. People are seeing the show two, three times and this munter thinks that only proves how awful we are? I don't think so, you fucklord.
The Herald Sun don't want you at this show because I tell the truth about what scum they are and always will be. That's my tiny contribution and that's okay, me and Tulky will go out this week and drag people off this street into our show. Even people who hate the paper will assume there's some truth to the review. That's okay, we'll continue to build our audience through word of mouth, face to face, without a noisepaper in between us filling the air with garbage.
It's weird, because I didn't even do the bit about burning the Herald Sun to the ground, killing every sack of shit inside. Anyway. Just wanted to share that with a couple of people and get on with my life. We have twelve shows to go. We are awesome. Don't believe the hype.
Tickets to Two Bearded Ladies
Tonight we stopped by a group of young comics, some of whom had obviously read the review, because one of them was doing something different, which was looking like he was going to pass out from not knowing what to say. We didn't mention it, just enjoyed their discomfort for a moment before moving on to go home to do damage control, which this is.
Oh, and if I want to end a sentence on "is", I will, stick your review up your arse.
And this is me talking, not Tulky, I'm the one who fights people who shit me until I'm good and happy.
We do an unusual opener that is chaotic and designed to set everyone at ease before we split up to take turns doing our sets. We've had great feedback about it! It's a wonderfully freeing bit of silliness. I love it and would like to do much more of that old school mucking around with Tulky.
The reviewer's head radiated hatred at this early point, perhaps enraged that we weren't wearing makeup like official clowns or some shit. Whatever dickhead. Bear in mind I am remembering this now but at the time simply rolled with it, because what if I was wrong and his face was just fucked through no fault of his own? Nope. Total. Ringhole. Who works for a ringhole newspaper I despise, which I make clear in my set.
My set specifically targets the Herald Sun as a much hated rag in the world of grass roots activism. I tell my stories about this in the form of "jokes", all of which elicited "laughter", but the very fact I was attacking his employer, who he apparently is married to, was enough for him to dismiss everything I said as Not Funny in a review that gave us one and a half stars. How do I know this for a fact? In a review that heaps shit on us he doesn't mention that I heap shit on the Herald Sun. What a coward.
He was so into this he spent heaps of ammo on me and simply bullshitted his way past Tulky's awesome crowd work as "not jokes". It's crowd work you fucking spanner.
It's true we are doing something a little different with this show, but not so different that people are wondering what's happening, or not laughing, or anything one and a half star-like in appearance.
The Herald Sun is an evil rag that countenances no criticism or comment on it's fucked and evil behaviour. The maggots who work for that piece of shit have to pretend it has a point other than keeping people down by keeping things exactly the same. They do this by lying about people, which I speak of in my set, so the incensed fuckwit employee had to get me somehow. Because the show is entertaining, fun and full of laughs, he had to lie. He had to lie to get around the brutal fact of an audience of laughing people. Yes, one of the people had seen the show before and will see it again. People are seeing the show two, three times and this munter thinks that only proves how awful we are? I don't think so, you fucklord.
The Herald Sun don't want you at this show because I tell the truth about what scum they are and always will be. That's my tiny contribution and that's okay, me and Tulky will go out this week and drag people off this street into our show. Even people who hate the paper will assume there's some truth to the review. That's okay, we'll continue to build our audience through word of mouth, face to face, without a noisepaper in between us filling the air with garbage.
It's weird, because I didn't even do the bit about burning the Herald Sun to the ground, killing every sack of shit inside. Anyway. Just wanted to share that with a couple of people and get on with my life. We have twelve shows to go. We are awesome. Don't believe the hype.
Tickets to Two Bearded Ladies
Haterz gonna hate, potatoez gonna potate
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