Horror Movie Teens, Night Skater and Xmas


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Hotdog Warlord

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  I was getting mad that the Wagner boss who seems to have attempted a coup in Russia is being called the “hotdog warlord”. Once upon a time he had a hotdog stand and I was displeased by what I saw as middle class wankers having one of their little laughs at such a working class activity. I was right that they are laughing, but I was wrong about what they were laughing at, which was of course hotdogs. In my rush to always shit on anyone in a suit, in an office, their pretentiousness and out of touchness, it was I who was out of touch, because hotdogs are funny. Sometimes people are just having a laugh. I don’t have to jump down their throats. I could try chilling out to be honest. Hotdog Warlord. How did I not reckon that was funny? What a humorless lefty piece of shit I am. What a terribly earnest party pooper. What a fuckin killjoy. I should be sent to the work camps in Siberia. I should be on a list. I should be transported to Australia and flogged with a cat’o’nine tails. In the 90
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The Exciting Apple Vision Pro

Apple has an embarrassing new product that over-affluent parents are desperate to get their hands on. It’s a headset for looking at videos, that you control with your eyeballs! It’s also goggles you wear to watch the videos you made while it was on your head earlier- before the divorce- and it takes you back to those precious moments? Because the same thing is on your head? Imagine being reminded that you lost your kids because you were a too cashed up nerd, every time you look at a video of your children. Who don’t love you anymore. I joke, because I irrationally hate, but a Youtube guy who tried out this gadget was seriously excited about collecting memories with his child. Yes, bro, they grow up so fast, so strap a shame thing onto your face and gather up all those images of your child becoming increasingly alienated from you because the only part of your face they can see is your weird smile. Your strange techno smile. Your disturbing, self satisfied shitty lips. Your weird fucked
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Julian and the Giant Peach.

The WikiLeaks Party review is out and full of no surprises for anyone, anywhere. For those who believe the party was betrayed by the mob who left crying foul, the review helpfully suggests these people may not have even existed, which must be comforting. From word go those who joined with WikiLeaks but refused to join the cult have been edged out as soon as they complained of dodgy doings. There is now an international network of ex-WikiLeaks people who have been burned by the cutting edge robot-boy behaviour of Julian Assange, a man well suited to living in a bubble, untroubled by the reality of other clever people. The review was controlled by Julian's father John Shipton, a manipulator whose charm seems old school but is simply the mask of an elite piece of shit who also never saw a bubble that didn't fit like a calf skin glove. The fucker will create bubbles out of thin air with his bullshit genteel behavior. It's all so lovely and nice cups of tea. I was singled ou
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