Fucking Measles

Measles is making a comeback and I couldn't be happier. I once spent weeks in a bed listening to all the other kids having an awesome time outside. Fortunately it was summer so they where having the time of their life, bless. Good thing I was such a huge reader! I passed the time not doing that either because it would have made me go blind because I had measles.

I can't be arsed looking up the going blind bit to see if my memory is correct because the risk is I'll rearrange childhood memories only to release hidden ones.

Fucking people don't want to vaccinate their kids. Look, all my fantasies are increasingly about killing people, so on one level of course I can get behind a dystopia created by people who through the miracle of childbirth know more than any doctor possibly could. I welcome the dream of doing a short course so I can become a guard at one of the many concentration camps we will be building to house the Parentards. Not a lot would make me happier than looking down from my watch tower at all the middle class creeps who were so afraid of everything that they made the worst happen just by imagining it. "See! Magic IS real you fucking dipshits!" That's me yelling and throwing gluten rich food products at caged adults crouching protectively over shivering children.

I believe in magic, I really, really do. I also believe in science and in not believing in stuff and in thinking things through and in not overthinking and in being coldly logical and in not behaving like a robot and that robots will soon take every job on Earth, setting every fuckwit on Earth free to overthink about and believe in whatever conspiracy theory they choose. The coming robot revolution is going to create billions of persecuted people who will have to be herded into barbed wire enclosures and this is my request to the universe: I don't need to be on the right side of history, I need to be outside the barbed wire of history.

If you too would like to be a minor warlord in the coming darkness you'll probably like our comedy show. Cheers!

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