Drinking Festival

During this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival I am going to drink as much as I can without ruining my show, which I have to able to perform 21 times at the top of my ability. I also have to go out fliering for hours every day. What this means is I won't be able to drink as much as I would like to in my fucked up little heart. What this means is I need to have goals and a point and a mission with clear objectives. Drinking goals.



There's no point pretending I'm not going to go out and and get royally fucked up. That is definitely going to happen. However I won't be doing any pills and powders because I can't afford the comedown, which can be pretty suicidal. Even the closing party is a bad choice for drugs because the end of the festival provides a comedown of it's own that needs to be managed like the brain damage it is.

What I want more than anything is to have a ball this year, but not so much that I am trying to do comedy or give fliers to people while hungover or wanting to die. I remember standing talking with other very drunk comics last year and realising that I was shaking from being so spectacularly drunk, tired, not eating enough and guilt. I would like to not reach that stage this year.

I'm hearing that a lot of comics this year are planning to be very conscious of not letting the partying fuck with their comedy. This is good. There's 560 shows and some of them are actually the work of proper comics who were put on this Earth to make people laugh.

When you get people in such an exciting environment it's natural to want to be a drinker who does comedy on the side, but I hope this year's festival doesn't go sideways for anyone.

No wait, fuck them, they are my competition. Drink up fuckers!

And take loads of drugs. Cheers!

Tickets to my show that I will perform sober every night           


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