The Tiniest Violin
Monday means no comedy and that means a well earned break from going to The Red Violin at 14 McKillop Street day after day to cancel my show. I cannot tell you what a rush it has been to not do stand up. A dream run. I hope it's a fucking dream anyway. Because I don't know how "really good at cancelling shows" will look on my resume. But it's going to be okay.
Opening night was awesome, we nailed our opening ten minutes of introducing ourselves then took turns doing the stand up things and the stage felt like being in the womb. So it's been great to not do that at all for the following three nights. But it's going to work out.
If you stand at the Town Hall and look up at the big map the Melbourne International Comedy Festival displays you'll see something quite interesting: our motherfucking street isn't on it. A street that is 5 minutes walk from where you are standing, with a festival hub running 12 shows, a place with multiple bars and acts from around the world, is not reprefuckingsented. But it's going to be alright.
Every time I explain our predicament to anyone who'll listen I feel like I'm making it up and playing the diva. It fits too perfectly with the comic's precious cupcake nightmare of being permanently overlooked. We are in the Terry Gilliam film Brazil, where a glitch on a Google map erases us and there is nothing we can do but grit our teeth until they crumble. But in the end it will all make sense.
I've spoken with a few of the other comics there and they share this sense of being up shit creek. One act is flyering all day every day. That's insane. The last person I saw doing that became ill in the process. He did win an award though because people were at his FUCKING SHOW BECAUSE THEY COULD FIND THE FUCKING BUILDING! But all of this is happening for a reason.
The problem is that The Red Violin moved location months ago and google maps never updated. We gave the Festival the new details, but they updated those details to the old address. Not their fault, not anybody's. I am sort of shaking a bit now, which I've been doing on and off for days now, experiencing weird body/head rushes as my soul tries to take little holidays out of my body to escape this glory. If I wasn't doing spots at the Wrong Show and the After Party I would probably go lie face down behind the couch and breathe in dust for while. But everything will be fine in the end.
I'm doing the Exford After Party late nights every night and totally fucking smashing it. I've been doing the 7:15pm Wrong Show and winning there too. I'm doing the Hi Fi Bar next week. Awesome. But I'm not doing my show, which we sweated over to make unique and beautiful. I thought that process was the montage sequence, turns out I'm trapped in a loop of endlessly getting ready and being positive and not stabbing anyone because Google are too far away. But it's going to be okay and good and fine and okay.
The Red Violin is a great venue and should be a comedy hub just like the Imperial. It's a place you can see three shows in a row, it has multiple bars and levels. It's awesome. I am awesome. Come see my fucking show and all the fucking shows at The Red Violin which is 5 minutes walk from Town Hall at 14 fucking McKillop Street as part of the Melbourne fucking International fucking Comedy fucking Festival. If you can fucking find it, which you fucking probably can't. But it's going to be okay and good and fine and everything happens for a reason and my soul keeps trying to sneak out of my anus and that's okay too no worries mate yeah good onya.
That's a video of people laughing at opening night. Tickets!
Opening night was awesome, we nailed our opening ten minutes of introducing ourselves then took turns doing the stand up things and the stage felt like being in the womb. So it's been great to not do that at all for the following three nights. But it's going to work out.
If you stand at the Town Hall and look up at the big map the Melbourne International Comedy Festival displays you'll see something quite interesting: our motherfucking street isn't on it. A street that is 5 minutes walk from where you are standing, with a festival hub running 12 shows, a place with multiple bars and acts from around the world, is not reprefuckingsented. But it's going to be alright.
Every time I explain our predicament to anyone who'll listen I feel like I'm making it up and playing the diva. It fits too perfectly with the comic's precious cupcake nightmare of being permanently overlooked. We are in the Terry Gilliam film Brazil, where a glitch on a Google map erases us and there is nothing we can do but grit our teeth until they crumble. But in the end it will all make sense.
I've spoken with a few of the other comics there and they share this sense of being up shit creek. One act is flyering all day every day. That's insane. The last person I saw doing that became ill in the process. He did win an award though because people were at his FUCKING SHOW BECAUSE THEY COULD FIND THE FUCKING BUILDING! But all of this is happening for a reason.
The problem is that The Red Violin moved location months ago and google maps never updated. We gave the Festival the new details, but they updated those details to the old address. Not their fault, not anybody's. I am sort of shaking a bit now, which I've been doing on and off for days now, experiencing weird body/head rushes as my soul tries to take little holidays out of my body to escape this glory. If I wasn't doing spots at the Wrong Show and the After Party I would probably go lie face down behind the couch and breathe in dust for while. But everything will be fine in the end.
I'm doing the Exford After Party late nights every night and totally fucking smashing it. I've been doing the 7:15pm Wrong Show and winning there too. I'm doing the Hi Fi Bar next week. Awesome. But I'm not doing my show, which we sweated over to make unique and beautiful. I thought that process was the montage sequence, turns out I'm trapped in a loop of endlessly getting ready and being positive and not stabbing anyone because Google are too far away. But it's going to be okay and good and fine and okay.
The Red Violin is a great venue and should be a comedy hub just like the Imperial. It's a place you can see three shows in a row, it has multiple bars and levels. It's awesome. I am awesome. Come see my fucking show and all the fucking shows at The Red Violin which is 5 minutes walk from Town Hall at 14 fucking McKillop Street as part of the Melbourne fucking International fucking Comedy fucking Festival. If you can fucking find it, which you fucking probably can't. But it's going to be okay and good and fine and everything happens for a reason and my soul keeps trying to sneak out of my anus and that's okay too no worries mate yeah good onya.
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