Shyness is nice


To me soldiers are like atheists: right about everything in a way that’s terribly unhelpful to nearly everybody. It’s the kind of rightness where nobody wins and that’s why it’s a great idea to never trust a hero. 

Yesterday I’m reading that there’s an exciting new hashtag that’s going to change the world one cupcake at a time, “KidsAreHeroes”. This is an Earth shattering anti-bullying initiative aimed at not attacking any root causes of mutual hatred from the usual gold star farmers who live the mission of keeping us supplied with backrubs, encouraging murmuring noises and meaningful eye contact at appropriate moments. Just enough, not too much, yes that’s my finger up your arsehole, breath gently now and accept my universal love.

I quite mistakenly hate everybody which is a huge problem, particularly as it’s actually just idealism, hope and good vibes that have been told they’re naive by stupid people one too many times. As a kid I was bullied and I bullied others and am terribly vigilant about those who would find the bad guys and take them out. That’s called projection and is why I can make jokes about 9/11 without once feeling a twinge about the people who died that day. I guess I can’t live in a Hallmark Greeting Card world without trying to loom over the proceedings, my fangs dripping acid and my heart pumping lightning bolts of sarcasm. I am Everyman. Every fuckhead feels like that. Big. Deal.

Heroes seem to feel they cut themselves loose from the bullshit by taking on mighty tasks or some shit. No Hero, you are the bullshit. This is hard to get into your head because it’s already full of cartoons, Steven Spielberg’s penis and Kathryn Bigelow’s milk of human propaganda, but nice slogans and big speeches are simpleminded, childminded, shitminded shit.

I hope Jesus returns in the form of a better, more hopeful AIDS that targets people who like guns and bumper stickers. 

Kindness is so important isn’t it?

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 16, 2013 at 10:53 PM

    Supporting a cause with a bumper sticker is like taking a shower to get rid of memories of being raped twenty minutes ago.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

They Continue To Do So

My girlfriend woke me and I rushed into the other room and as I watched a plane fly into a building I thought, what's the story with morning television? How benighted are motherfuckers if they simply have the TV on, just on, just there spouting drivel into a private living space, a space where you are not required by law to listen to strangers dibbling shit or watch them smile like money is being fired into all their holes? People will cry their eyes out at whatever tragedy is slipped into them by experts. People will also avoid reflection on weighty matters. Hey people, the inside of your head will not give you AIDS if you touch it. (The TV was on because news radio was alerting the world that there was great footage to stroke to. Yes, we listen to news radio in the morning because we are superior beings. Kneel, dogs.) As the buildings collapsed I thought, I mean, are people that scared of having an original thought that they have to crowd out any possibility of a clue arriving
Read more

RIP Gough Whitlam

Gough Whitlam died today. The important difference between this event and his dismissal from the Prime Ministership in the Australian 1970's? There was no CIA involvement. I was a child in the 1970's. When I was old enough to ask, "What happened? How did that happen?" My elders told me they half expected at the time something like a civil war to break out. People were devastated, they were enraged, they were also electrified. The United States of America, to put it bluntly, includes Australia as a remote colony, an outpost. When Gough Whitlam threatened Pine Gap the CIA had to get involved. Pine Gap, located in remote Australia, is a key asset to United States air and space superiority. Many Australians are excited to be part of an Imperial power structure. Many powerful Australians are over the moon at the opportunity to be included in US games of global domination. Whether conspiracy, madness or just weakness, many Australians were quite happy for the US to take
Read more

Onlookers

I'm having a bit of trouble with social media because I keep wanting to tell people to die of cancer. This is because I want many, many Australians to die of cancer. Today. Painfully. While I watch. Well, I wouldn't be strictly watching because my eyes would be rolled back into my head as I experienced an hour-long orgasm as hate left my system in a crippling wave of ecstasy. The next AFP top cop says this wave of terror is like no other and he's right: the terrorists are all born Australian know nothings, the type who love to hate an outsider because it's the perfect crime. Look at me defending my family, I am a good person and it is merely coincidence that I get to indulge my worst urges. I want to come on their faces. I have urges too. And you're right, it's not sexual, it's about establishing dominance. I am so afraid of these people that I'm a mess of power fantasies. I get it. The idea is to hit the nation like a log until it's split int
Read more