More Like Re-Spewnion

When I got news of a 20th anniversary high school reunion there was zero fucking risk of me going because a) I was a marginalised unit back then, so the idea of hanging out with people who weren't interested in hanging out with me felt like mild child abuse of my adult self and b) I felt I had nothing to report.

What am I going to say? "I have tried lots of things and bailed on them as soon as they got good because I am not emotionally equipped to have a good time. I mean, I think I'm getting better, but I strongly suspect the mental health system has let me down quite badly and have no real idea how fucked in the head I might be right now. How are you? I probably don't care because I'm an artist and you're not and I have purposely lived in an arty farty bubble since I was 21 and have zero ability to feign interest in normal people's lives. It's the price I pay for only ever being around people who want to be stars. Look, I'm too a) fucked up and b) interesting to be here, but I can't leave because I drank as much as I could as soon as I got here and wouldn't be able to make it through a doorway or operate a door knob or

Anyway, so I stayed away from that opportunity to implode in front of classmates who are now fat.

Trying to do interesting things and be original is scary and lonely. It's scary because it's lonely. I say 'trying' because originality may be unattainable. Trying to reach the unattainable and saying that out loud is a good way to be lonely. In Australia the vibe of strict casualness is a very poor fit for those of us who wish to be fucking marvellous and shit.

I was sitting with comics and we were talking about how to lie to people at a reunion. Comics are at the bottom of the showbiz ladder, I know this because hopelessly middle class comics never shut the fuck up- and I mean on stage- about the lack of status. So let's get this straight: you want to be sort of like a rock star but you also want to fit in with people whose lives revolve around house, kids and boring job? You want their respect? You're a fucking idiot.

I didn't go to that reunion because I haven't settled into any kind of groove that makes sense to normal people. But that's the deal. Be an artist or fuck off.

Death to all but metal!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hotdog Warlord

Image
  I was getting mad that the Wagner boss who seems to have attempted a coup in Russia is being called the “hotdog warlord”. Once upon a time he had a hotdog stand and I was displeased by what I saw as middle class wankers having one of their little laughs at such a working class activity. I was right that they are laughing, but I was wrong about what they were laughing at, which was of course hotdogs. In my rush to always shit on anyone in a suit, in an office, their pretentiousness and out of touchness, it was I who was out of touch, because hotdogs are funny. Sometimes people are just having a laugh. I don’t have to jump down their throats. I could try chilling out to be honest. Hotdog Warlord. How did I not reckon that was funny? What a humorless lefty piece of shit I am. What a terribly earnest party pooper. What a fuckin killjoy. I should be sent to the work camps in Siberia. I should be on a list. I should be transported to Australia and flogged with a cat’o’nine tails. In the 90
Read more

The Exciting Apple Vision Pro

Apple has an embarrassing new product that over-affluent parents are desperate to get their hands on. It’s a headset for looking at videos, that you control with your eyeballs! It’s also goggles you wear to watch the videos you made while it was on your head earlier- before the divorce- and it takes you back to those precious moments? Because the same thing is on your head? Imagine being reminded that you lost your kids because you were a too cashed up nerd, every time you look at a video of your children. Who don’t love you anymore. I joke, because I irrationally hate, but a Youtube guy who tried out this gadget was seriously excited about collecting memories with his child. Yes, bro, they grow up so fast, so strap a shame thing onto your face and gather up all those images of your child becoming increasingly alienated from you because the only part of your face they can see is your weird smile. Your strange techno smile. Your disturbing, self satisfied shitty lips. Your weird fucked
Read more

The Horribly Disappointing Not Revolutionary Left

Image
So the union movement is not exactly gearing up for an excess of passion right now. Pretty worrying, but that's the bureaucratic Left for you. The amendments to the Summary Offences Act will be rammed through in the State of Victoria and so far the office champs have pumped out a video that looks like it was made by a Centralized Union Neutering Team. The union movement needs to fuck off it's own 1%, the union movement needs a revolution, the union movement has been decapitated by technocrats, it's a waste, a disaster, a showbag: looks good, but full of shit. But let's not pretend the Worker has no part in this. I've spoken with unionists who shake their head at the materialistic focus of people well paid only because people like themselves fought the bosses. Now those people's lives seem to revolve around being able to buy shit, talk shit about that shit, all of this a replacement for giving a shit. Let's face it, fucktard nationalism has replaced m
Read more