bedlam updates

http://comedianwithnomates.tumblr.com/ I'll be collecting my new video series at the above address. The fourth episode was supposed to go out last night but iMovie misbehaved and I immediately folded in half because Apple products have groomed me to become a consumer worm consisting of a tube that joins a mouth and an anus and frankly the 24 hour news cycle has me unsure sometimes which hole is which. Anyway, do share these fights of fancy. Yes, I said fights, because I am a fighter and a loser and quality entertainment is freely available these days that it's hard to tell if civilisation is collapsing or if it's just my attention span. Much more to come.

Australia's refugee problem is so complex that normal humans cannot be expected to get their heads around it. I know this because I visited Jeff's Shed to witness Labor Party delegates communicate detailed logistical insights mostly through sad stories about feeling bad. One even lovingly described a post-it note upon which was written a baby asylum seeker's name. He kept it over his desk to remind him of the real stories behind the issues behind the feelings he was having. Just imagine the Groundhog Day of seeing a post-it note and exclaiming, "Oh that's right! Refugees! No wonder I'm sad! If only their plight was not so bloody complex! Well, it's drink'o'clock." It's tempting to get on a moral high horse about Australia's cruel treatment of people on leaky boats. However the fact is if you express any concern at all about these people you will be instantly set upon by a guy rubbing his fingers together, saying, "Look it's t

A huge penis has appeared in Clifton Hill and it's not me. What an auspicious sign. This same week as if proving that magic is real I had an idea that wasn't yet another can of worms. Yes, I had a practical thought. Off the back of this massive brainwave I made my way to one of those places that specialises in products aimed at people who are blessed with an eye for a bargain and no taste whatsoever. The psychic energy of the place groaned under the weight of crappy products made by weeping Chinese teenagers. I mean, I assume so, I try to live in my head precisely to avoid feeling the misery of people I'd like to assist in some way, but can't, because the Left are too paralysed by anger at dick jokes to actually help people struggling with problems a bit more pressing than being made to feel uncomfortable. Seriously guys, I am fucking obsessed with the notion that the cliched earnestness of some radicals when it comes to demanding that spaces be made "sa

My current routine is quite simple. Upon waking I like to spend some time simply lying peacefully. I drag this out for as long as I can to increase the possibility that I may have a major stroke while I'm in a nice comfortable position. After a while it usually becomes quite clear God wants to me to get out there and at very least ruin some other dickhead's day and I slip into my comfortable, elastic waisted internet surfing pants and make two slices of toast that stare back at me and ask, "You again" like evil twins covered in crumbs. Or made of crumbs? Who knows. Perhaps we'll never know. Breakfast is my least favourite time of the day because I am also on the internet being reminded most people who say stuff and talk words are an argument for ethnic cleansing, genocide or any of the cool processes that make piles of dead people. I like my coffee just so and then it's time to get on my bicycle and go for a ride to really clear my head by muttering to mysel

On this Saturday just past, July 18th 2015, I watched police storm over the top of a Street Medic privacy circle set up by people with arms linked to protect the health and dignity of a person with breathing difficulties. I knew that an ambulance was very long overdue, with no sign of it's arrival, the cops would not allow it. If I took a step to the right I could see a hospital maybe a two minute walk away. For fucks sake. The injured person had been badly pepper sprayed. There are levels and layers of interaction with this foam spray and all of my friends copped from some to heaps, including myself. I assume the badly injured person appears clearly in one of the many videos that show the first major spraying. Onlookers witnessed the last drops coming out of big canisters. They emptied those things in people's faces point blank. Two days later I'm hearing that people are still suffering with proper skin burns. Just imagine breathing the shit. When the cops rush

Pretty sure I'm hearing young Australians saying, "Do the math", which is interesting because we don't say "Math" in Australia as far I know. It's Maths, as in Mathematics. Anyway, I'm all for stealing cool language from black Americans, that's all part of what white people do because we're too embarrassed to be ourselves. Well not the sport ones. Sport white people are very happy to be themselves and the less said about that the better. But why would you steal white people American words? Makes no sense, then again, fuck all does. So I'm listening to two Young People on the radio who are there to let the world know that Young People are something called "Smart and Savvy". Now look, I understand that older people who never had an original idea in their lives look back at the young for hope out of sheer despair, but let me break that down a bit further. The world is full of borderline tools in leadership positions who never gre