bedlam updates

There's going to be a rally in Melbourne 5:30 tomorrow and I am assuming there will be an insane number of insanely over-equipped cops there. I think we should tell those cops to fuck right off. Last week there were two rallies to pressure the powers that be into treating refugees like people. The Friday one was interrupted by an attention seeking nationalist idiot and this resulted in cops attacking and arresting human rights defenders. It was no good. The Sunday rally was joined by another rally and led into a peaceful protest at the National Gallery then a march to the Flinders St intersection, where eventually the cops were convinced to stand down. The negotiation went sort of like this, "As a cool gesture, how about you leave us alone, seeing how you blew through so much goodwill on Friday by assaulting people." The cops agreed to stand down and it was a good result. It shows that if people dig their heels in they can make changes. Negotiating this sort of cessa

This image and text appears directly in the centre of your innocent face when you look at the website of one of Melbourne's major newspapers, The Age. I do not know what it's about but I can make a guess, gang. The world you have created, or are maintaining, or are pretending isn't there, or that you know you can do nothing about, or that you L.O.V.E like you love ten year old boys is a nightmare. We are in Hell and Death is Christmas because we leave this shitheap behind forever when we stop breathing in this poisonous kiddie-fiddling air. One odd immediate reaction I'm struggling with is that I find him super punchable. That is a punchable head and it's only ten. Apart from the makeup, what is he doing with his face? Upon clicking the link will I discover that he loves dress-ups and that's all this is? Probably, but I don't care, because kids playing dress-ups for adults to admire and judge and reward is twisted. This child's face is for sale. Here

I can feel it. I'm getting closer. Soon I will walk into Northcote Plaza and instead of walking right past Thyme To Eat while also ignoring the juice bar guy who I probably should just say hi to, or not, it's doesn't matter, probably, anyway, I will walk into Thyme To Eat and I will eat, for it will be thyme to eat. To be fair though, there is no 'walking into' Thyme To Eat, for this Northcote Plaza famous eatery simply opens out onto the air conditioned thoroughfare or whatever it's called. It is a cafe that has no view of the outside world. I assume the staff are all suicidal. One day there will be no one to pull up the roll-a-door. How do people work all day in places that have no outside view. I mean, it's Northcote Plaza, so the view is not going to be incredible. But still. And also, how hard would it be to erect shade cloths so the carpark isn't an oven? But I can't be mad at you, Northcote Plaza, because your lack of pretension fucking he

I just learned that some people have vegetarian dogs and I will never be the same. Is it so the dog will have good karma and be reborn as an even better dog? Is it because the dog has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for the world's problems? Is the dog vaccinated? Should an animal with anal glands be worrying about ethics? How domestic is too domestic? Is the dog allowed to eat meat as long as it kills it? Is the dog allowed to attack and kill human babies? Why is a dog allowed to hunt and kill human babies? Does this explain the current baby shortage? Is anyone missing a baby? Do you know where your baby is right now? You say you don't have a baby? Are you sure? How can you be sure of anything in a world of vegetarian dogs? Who are you? WHAT ARE YOU?!

Last night I was watching The Punisher punish bad guys while also being a bad guy and I realised it's a lucky coincidence my favourite form of entertainment is American propaganda. It's Number 1! You could argue that all US entertainment is propaganda, but I'm talking about anything with at least one appearance by a flag, some guns and (ideally) a sad man who has to kill people but is good enough to be sad about it or at least frowning like the American sniper in American Sniper. (Actually I hated that movie, but we are playing with lies here so whatever). The Sad Man must always be Punished(TM) with further sadness after he has done his sad duty that no one else will do because everyone else is corrupt, particularly anyone in a suit or a uniform because the CIA is full of evil men despite being a great organisation. Also the armed forces are constantly being forced to do horrible things but are also great organisations because they turn up every damn day and do the hard

"I was just thinking back to how weird it was when Rush was President of the United States of America. So odd that a prog band beloved by guitar nerds was ever president, but then again his father George H W Rush had a go so maybe it's fair enough." Sean looked at the terrible idea and wondered where it came from. Hack Comedy Hell? Some horror realm where weak wordplay and references to total bullshit dance a nightmare waltz? His own arsehole? Anyway. The keyboard stared back at him, giving nothing away. He really needed to go to the gym. He could feel his midriff almost liquefying as he sat at the table in his comfortable active wear. He wondered if it was "activewear" or "active wear". He thought about words he hated. Grub, Gronk and Flog, three new Australian insults that were new, or new to him anyway. What was wrong with just fucking swearing? Were Australians worried that proper swearing was not classy enough for this backward head injury

So it's looking like I'll be having an active wear summer. Kmart active wear. 100% polyester, made in a Bangladesh sweatshop, normal father on a budget, active wear. I'm talking shorts with a special pocket just for my phone, mesh inserts, T-shirts and singlets that are extremely breathable, very practical fucking average person active wear. The shit is fucking comfortable. My uniform is jeans and black T-shirt, but a cotton T-shirt does not have the breathability I crave. Regular exercise has done this to me. Now I get it, I know why people who always wear active wear, always wear active wear. There are no active wear pants for men that are suitable for just being though. No. And men who wear those tights, without shorts to protect human eyeballs from contact with your package, you need to take a hard look at yourself, because we certainly are, you filthy stinkboy. I will be having an active wear summer, but I will not be a filthy stinkboy.    

The results are in and over 4 million Australians can now walk into the sea until the water is over their heads, you know, like concepts. They are complaining about feeling brutalised. Boohoo. Call the underwater waaaahmbulance. It's important to consider people's feelings before you dismiss them, it's much more enjoyable that way. When people feel sad about imaginary oppression you are handed a rare chance to switch off your empathy and indulge in some intense laughter. God it's great. Turns out a majority of Australians don't feel crushed by the idea of gay marriage. But there's nothing inevitable about winning struggles like this. It comes down to volunteers working their arses off for years. Governments don't make these changes, businesses, institutions and obviously churches don't, people do. Unelected leaders, out there working for your freedom. Not mine obviously, I'm male white and hetero, I would struggle to find a use for more freedom

IT HAS BEEN HUMBLING TO LIVE NEXT TO A CONSTRUCTION SITE FOR A YEAR WE BOTH WORK FROM HOME THIS TIME LAST YEAR WE COPPED THREE MONTHS OF EXTREMELY LOUD MACHINERY SMASHING THROUGH TOUGH BLUESTONE RIGHT UP UNTIL CHRISTMAS THEN IT PICKED UP AGAIN IN THE NEW YEAR WORKERS SOMETIMES BRING RADIOS TO BLAST OUT THE SHITTEST MOST BASIC FM RADIO AND THE BEST PART IS WE HAVE TO CLOSE UP OUR PLACE AND RUN AN EXPENSIVE AIR CONDITIONER TO GET AWAY FROM THE DUST AND MIND JELLIFYING NOISE IT CONTINUES STILL RIGHT NOW THEY ARE DRILLING THROUGH STEEL WHICH SOUNDS LIKE WORLD WAR ONE BUT THEY ARE NEARING THE END AND I WILL BURN THE PLACE TO THE GROUND BECAUSE I ENJOYED IT SO MUCH FIRST TIME A YEAR A FUCKING YEAR ACTUALLY LONGER THAN A YEAR OVER A YEAR OF THIS  

Here's a few uptight as fuck points we'll call Mondayitis. Oh please come and feel the catharsis. 1. I don't like Australia or being Australian the same way I don't like that Australia is part of the USA. 2. I grew up in a fairly Catholic war veterans area. The adults were damaged but at least the kids were violated so they'd fit in properly. 3. Listening to and looking at Trump is always like pile driving a glass ashtray into my own head. He's annoying on a level I haven't felt since the last time I saw every rich kid who ever lived. 4. The only upside of Trump's rise is that I can be a miserable cunt guilt free. No more hiding! *bursts out into the street covered in own feces in desperately sad attempt to at least go viral*

So I'm taking a short drive and reckon I'll listen to some gentle soft extremely wet liberal talkback radio and there's a horrific Trump supporter doing the weird snarling so may of them do. Rafi Epstein tiptoes around this maniac like an extremely boring professional. Then a woman calls in and mentions Hitler and suddenly Rafi has an actual opinion and it's that Hitler references make him "very uncomfortable". And he shuts this terrified woman down as if her fear is somehow  offensive. The next caller points out that Hitler didn't start with the concentration camps, blowing Rafi's rant out of the water. Like, just nuking his pathetic Godwinning into oblivion. Juuuuust fucking piledriving his weak normalising let's-not-get-too-excited ass like a champ. Next caller says everyone should calm down because Trump's measures are temporary. And sanity is restored in the world of patronising men who will smother you to death with a pillow rather than r

1. Since Wikileaks, Manning and Snowden, it's well understood that surveillance of citizens is extreme. 2. Being a citizen is no guarantee of being treated like a human fucking being. 3. Whistleblowers step forward and are immediately crushed. 4. There's no way to be clever about any of this so what's the point of playing games anymore? 5. Long before Trump it was clear that a) fascism was on it's way and b) it would meet very little resistance from our thought leaders. I mean if Noam Chomsky is the top ten thinkers on this subject then we are in deep shit. 6. Capitalism needs to be dismantled and the military-industrial complex broken down into spare parts. This is going to require that people understand we're fucked and cornered like dogs. 7. No point hiding anymore, be a dog.

1. A refugee has escaped from PNG, he was on Manus Island. Is he now a double refugee? 2. This is the first case of a refugee fleeing like a refugee from Australia's horrifying treatment of refugees on other lands. 3. in 2002 there was a mass breakout at Woomera Detention Centre lovingly facilitated by local Aussie scamps. 4. The horrific abuse of refugees now occurs where you and I can't get at the fences and tear them down. However someone has to run these shit holes and they all have offices. They can be pressured to pull out of the refugee abuse scam right here on shore by being targeted where they work. 5. Targeting businesses like Wilson is about breaking the supply chain. Yes, it's like a cool movie but not so much for the refugees whose lives are a nightmare. http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/manus-island-refugee-triggers-diplomatic-test-by-sneaking-on-plane-to-seek-asylum-in-fiji-20170127-gtzu0v.html

1. Since the greatest work of art of all time was created, the punching of Richard Spencer, I haven't actually seen anyone saying the Left are "as bad as Nazis". That all changed five minutes ago and I am forever a different person. 2. Fucking wow dude. Fucking WOW! 3. People trying to get industrial scale murder off the ground don't have a political opinion, they have a psychosis. Since they carry that psychosis around in a head, that head may need to be punched until it res ets to human mode. 4. Look, I really love to say this, but the "as bad as" crowd are as bad as Nazis. 5, For this reason, if I could travel back in time to kill Hitler I would instead kill Germany to commit reverse genocide because I'm as bad as people who think I'm bad as nazis.

1. Cops in Sydney attacked a protester yesterday and this was reported as "protest turns violent" because Buzzfeed are about as edgy as a food court. 2. A protester attempted a flag burning and cops rushed in like they were stopping a murderer. 3. Media consumers immediately turned on protesters and began commenting online, possibly while at a barbecues, drunk and having pissed themselves while wearing the Australian flag around their necks. 4. When I was growing up Australia Day wasn't even a thing, neither was ANZAC Day unless you were one of those freaks who has a flagpole in the front yard to let everyone know where a fascist lives. 5. The huge Melbourne protest damaged Australia Day permanently. The only reason there wasn't a flag burning is it was too crowded. Hating Australia is Australian as fuck, so get fucked.

1. Australia Day marks the anniversary of the 1788 arrival of the First Fleet of British Ships at Port Jackson, New South Wales, where people with maggots in their bumcracks promptly staged a beach orgy while the officer class looked on and half heartedly masturbated while trying to conjure mental images of their own mothers. 2. In present-day Australia, celebrations reflect the diverse society and landscape of a nation to this day dominated by the dumbest cunts in all of C reation. To be an "Australian" is to look around you every day and wonder how the fuck these emotional cripples get through the day without being reminded which hole to shit out of. 3. The meaning and significance of Australia Day has evolved over time. Haha! No it hasn't! This benighted desert of weakly rooted nationalist vegetables has always been an embarrassment to not only itself but it's imaginary friends. 4. Foreigners don't even bother to hate us, we're that fucking needy of

1. Should we thank everybody who invoked Godwin's Law for the last 15 years, making it socially unacceptable to point out that an authoritarian nightmare is coming? 2. Thanks to Stephen Fry style endless good manners we are woefully underprepared to do good shit about evil shit. 2. We should definitely cheer everyone who sneered at references to Australian offshore human destruction centres as Concentration Camps because it was "offensive". 3. These champs had it worked out that talk of fascism was offensive and that it didn't take seriously enough what "real" fascism is like, which they had never experienced because they refused to acknowledge it *head explodes* 4. "Four more journalists have been charged with felonies after being arrested while covering the unrest around Donald Trump’s inauguration, meaning that at least six media workers are facing up to 10 years in prison and a $25,000 fine if convicted."

The Nazi Punching Files. January 21st. 1. Some people are very angry about a Nazi being punched, fuhrerious even. 2. I'm more of a hip and shoulder guy, but whatever gets a Nazi away from a news camera and spreading his pure fucking evil is fine. 3. I wonder how adults don't know people like Richard Spencer are a threat to all of our existences? What a weird thing to not know. 4. Sad that people troubled by Richard Spencer being assaulted will be dragged through the streets after the war. I don't make the rules. 5. If a Nazi is talking to a news camera and your principles stop you from breaking that up you are made of piss. January 23rd. 1. It seems like people who are Not Okay with punching the Nazi might be thinking he's a small n nazi who is merely dabbling in Nazism on the international stage like all teenagers do? 2. Come to think of it, you're right, white supremacists who hate women are just misunderstood boys. 3. In fact, World War