bedlam updates

Dearest Mother, Are there too many people? I don't think so, but let's face facts and do the right thing by people who are concerned about overpopulation. Let's exterminate every last one them. I'm not saying these people are subhuman or even deserve to die all that much, but surely they will agree that a matter of such importance- they reckon- requires decisive action. Sure, there'll be roadblocks, red tape, people who don't want to die, but I think we're big enough and brave enough and in fact I feel we'll get a lot of popular support when we explain Uncle Fuckface won't be ruining any more Christmases. Just think of it: right wing loudmouth dipshits, vegans with no off switch, quiet types who move out to the country to blog about raising chickens, we'll never hear from these people ever again. We may not even have to brutally end the lives of all that many millions of people! Once word gets out that you will be murdered if you talk nothing b

Tony Abbott looks like one of those middle aged Skull Men who do a lot of running.  Because like a big loser, he does. If you're a middle aged man you can be a skull man, one of those saddos you see on Youtube who has mastered the Bo (staff) fighting staff, which is just a stick or staff or (Bo) that these men whose heads are at risk of being swallowed by their own neck fat love so much, those guys, or just a withered pile of shit that has disappeared into a pile of clothing and tries to emit as little personality as possible. Oh! Or the dude with just a touch too much going on in the muscles department so he always looks like he's about to push out a turd so sharp he bleeds out within minutes. I like politicians to have that neck that has just fucking given way and become a fat flap of shit that serves no other purpose than to make the head look like a balloon at a kid's party no one came to. I say bring it, men! Bring your fucked bodies and shit heads and your warped po

I'm going to have to learn to break the big jobs up into lots of little tasks so I don't get overwhelmed when it's time to behead a lot of rich people. For instance have I thought that maybe beheading is going to require a lot of blade sharpening and other time consuming whatnots? Why not instead drag a rich person behind my car on the way to work each day? Wouldn't that be fun? Imagine taking corners at speed so Trent from Toorak whips out to the side like a water skier and smashes through the side of a bus stop. People would love that. In Brazil, where rich people have gamed the justice system and social media to install a fascist president, not only would I not be joking-not joking about slaughtering our bosses, I wouldn't so much as rock up to a candlelight vigil to be a sad face about democracy. That place is over. Fuck that shit. This guy thinks the thirty year dictatorship's only real mistake was not murdering everyone it tortured and when I say think I

People love to be outraged, people love to drink human blood, people love to cut heads off and fuck the eye sockets, people are terrible, people freak me out when I go outside, all people are cannibals, all people have a tail, people have destroyed the environment, I wanted to visit the environment, I wanted to go and have a look and take a selfie and fall of a cliff and die while taking a selfie, I wanted so much, I wanted it all, but cannibals ate my flesh at the bottom of the cliff, I never wanted to offend anybody, nothing could be worse, but the day of my big outing not only ended with me dead at the bottom of a cliff, but with my body broken into shape of a swastika and I offended everybody when all they wanted to do was enjoy a good selfie death, a good self own, a good bloody laugh and my last thought as I slipped off the edge was really more of a series of images and I remembered where my sunglasses I bought at the airport were. Probably no one ate my flesh but how would I kno

You would think after the pipe bombs, the execution of two black Americans by a racist and a mass murder in a synagogue, that the patriotic maggots who infest the online world and the real world and all possible worlds would take a few days off to enjoy some quiet contemplation about whether their obsessions are a good idea. "Hey should I think about the possibility that I'm barking up the wrong tree? Because it seems people who share my concerns are insane killers? Nah. The mass murder of little kids in a school didn't stop me stimulating my prostate with my AR-15 for one second so why stop now? In fact I'm working the tip of my weapon around my taint as we speak. It feels very good." The anus area of these people is really worth thinking about because they call leafy greens rabbit food and angrily only eat meat and will all get asshole cancer and die, or worse, live, turning up to protests stinking of piss in a motorised chair with a built in colostomy bag. Th

Since 2016 Americans have blamed all their problems on Russia. They don't know where Russia is, what it does, or even that the USA didn't defeat the Nazis, Russians did. They are the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet and sometimes when I need a good laugh I look at pictures of crying Hillary Clinton supporters crying their upper middle class tear crying because they put all their hope in a woman who hates them so much she didn't bother to give them a speech on that night of their incredibly funny heartbreak. Instead of thinking maybe Hillary isn't that crash hot I mean she didn't even thank us for giving every drop of our fake tears to her campaign they immediately turned their attention to Russia because Americans believe in America like a Nazi loves a swastika. All Americans every last one are Hitler in the bunker refusing to see that maybe being super fucking insane for your whole life isn't such a great plan after all. Americans have to believe that they a

If you're an Aussie who finds American style insincere celebrations that mutate into wildly commercial ventures that feel exactly like a kids TV show that exists only to sell shitty products to your consumer children who will grow up to be massive arseholes with no resilience who say shit like "I'm done" when a reboot of the reboot of their childhood fave superfuckwit comic book hero movie fuckwit fails to adhere to weird obsession created arbitary rules about how that lame shit works when what you really mean is a Batman movie literally made you shit your pants on purpose anyway what I'm saying is if you're not into Halloween because you are anti-American and if so good for you it's not like there aren't a million reasons to despise those fucks BUT SEAN THEY'RE PEOPLE TOO  yeah okay you weepy prick and when one American dies it's a tragedy but when three thousand go in one hit it's hilarious and that's why I say don't miss out on t

Climate change seems like a bit of fun eh? A bit of a lark? Bit of a chuckle? Who doesn't like a laugh? Let's not be party poopers, let's not bloody be the bummer dude telling everyone to go vegan, stop driving a car, don't walk anywhere because you're using leg miles that cost food energy that comes from earth juice that comes from a closed planetary system we're trapped the farts are coming closer I'm choking on bad world saving advice why is it all on me to change my totally bullshit spending habits. I have an iPhone what a hypocrite I am yeah I'll just get rid of my phone and my laptop and my television well I guess I could get rid of my television but I'm not going to because fuck off hippy we can't all live in a four day festival out in the bush where we go to great workshops run by other hippies about how to live the festival lifestyle. You ever watched the Woodstock movie? What a bunch of annoying pricks. "Look at me, I'm nude!

Looks like now is a good time to change my name to Horrific Dogmeat and keep a house brick on me at all times and get a big veiny cock and balls tattooed right across my face and sort of have this whole edgy thing where I'm just nervously playing with my house brick like it's prayer beads and really just you know like cultivate a fucked vibe that I could wang out, go off tap, cut sick, just farkern start bashin' cunce an that. In readiness for the coming darkness that is. A man is gunna need a vibe to protect himself I reckon. Failing a miraculous coming together of people in a very grassroots and real way, a coming together highly unlikely because of fake news, which we used to call propaganda which we used to call the news, we are up shit creek. Any fucking white maggot who owns anything is battening down the hatches and I was joking before about changing my appearance oh no I will go full normie and in my nice person disguise sneak into the homes of the rich and drive

W e went to get breakfast in the new cafe across the road called Bicycle Thieves which we know is called that because they have a big well lit sign inside on the back wall. There is no signage outside, it's just walls of glass and from up here in our apartment looking down it 's like that famous American painting of the night time diner. Americans in TV and film love to not look where they're going when they drive. They love to be distracted from the only job the have so they can focus on their one true love, which is communicating their feelings. The cafe across the road communicates it's feelings so clearly that it doesn't need street signs. Or maybe they have some amazing mailing list or it's all done through social media? I don't know, don't ask me what a mailing list is I just wash dishes pick fruit stack shelves load trucks if there is an unskilled job I'm your guy and if there's a skilled job that work dries up very quickly.