bedlam updates

  Yesterday I bravely made and courageously uploaded a heroic video about Autism. I've recently learned I’m Autistic, which is very strong and special of me. Within minutes of the video going public an anti vaxxer made an angry comment. The point or purpose of the video seemed to barely register with them. They wanted to continue an argument about vaccines and mandates? From months or even years ago? I'm not sure, I don't remember, they can fuck off? I don't remember a time before disgruntled anti vaxxers, smug anti vaxxers, boorish, boring anti vaxxers. I don't remember a time before mass insanity. I simply replied to the anti vaxxer, “Fuck dude, you are truly mental.” It felt nice. Let's say you have just told me that you are Autistic. You have just learned that you are Autistic, you tell me this, and I without slowing down continue the discussion, as if the discussion is an argument that I'm having with you, and that what you have just said has proven me

  When I was a kid I had rescue dreams that I would sustain an injury and people would have to pay attention to me properly and care for me, like a little prince who was actually an angel. Until a few days ago I reckoned I had those thoughts about being airlifted out of my childhood because it was lonely, frightening, brutal, oppressive, sucked dead dogs dicks and was utterly fucked. I needed to be saved. But now with the even more recent appearance of the likelihood of autism diagnosis in my life the situation looks a bit different. Yes, I was abused, yes, my parents’ incredibly chaotic lives and constantly changing plans inevitably resulted in devastating consequences for myself. Yes, I was terrorized by my father and even eventually abandoned by my mother. Yes, the insanity of changing schools 16(!) times set me up to be forever falling through the cracks. Of course I dreamed of some kind of powerfully focusing near fatal incident that would put me in a hospital bed and begin my jou

I was going to write something about I don't remember what, but I was just now catching waves at a surf beach and my mind has been cleansed. It feels like my loose ends have been tied up, there's nothing more to say, I have nothing to add and I’ve got all my ducks in a row. Imagine what it would be like to always be in this state of having no worries. Right now, thanks to a beach that won’t exist in five years, it would take mental strain to come up with a worry and some further effort to worry about that worry properly. No wait, that's one. As an expert in depression, anxiety, panic and hysteria, melodrama, theatrics, overreacting, overdoing it, dwelling on the past and stewing on shit that's not even my problem, I've tried a lot of things, done some drugs, attempted to expand my horizons but I have to say no mind altering drug I've ever taken has the ability to slow down time like an Australian federal election campaign. We are a day or so into it and it feels

Many ALP supporters are like footy fans, if those footy fans were incapable of tracking a bouncing ball with their eyes to follow a game, or remember what jumper their team was wearing, or make their way to a footy ground without getting lost in a dark forest, welcomed into a house made of gingerbread, to only narrowly escape being cooked and eaten because their would be murderer is old, like their old, rubbish, useless bullshit political party. Footy fans pay attention to the various capabilities of their players, the strengths and weaknesses of their coach’s chosen strategy, tactics, short term and long term planning and the ruthless decision making that is required to win, because sometimes what's going on is not good enough, and it's time to make some real changes. ALP fandom is a prize winning source of amusement that people could be that shit at knowing why their team exists or what it’s like. And are fiercely committed to never finding out. No self respecting crow would

I haven’t done much writing in the last little while, I’ve been drained by the thought of a piece of my arse being sliced off and sewn onto my classic Italian profile. Yes, I was concerned about skin cancer, most worryingly on my nose. Yesterday my doctor’s appointment came up and they found nothing wrong with me. As I suspected, but was afraid to believe, I am perfect. A surgeon’s scalpel will not slice through my butt cheek to remove a flap of skin that will be sewn onto the centre of my face. I will not be known as Arse Face. In school, some kids called me Wombat based on the perceived flatness of my nose. Accusing someone of Italian heritage of falling down on their nose game. What dogs. Though I didn’t  really give much thought to my Italianity until my father called me a fucking little wog bastard. Was I technically a bastard? My juvenile delinquent parents were not married when I was conceived. My father would be locked in a cupboard under a sink by his mother, an experience so

Apparently China is interested in setting up a base for its warships inSolomon Islands? Which are in the Pacific? According to Australians with heads made entirely out of the dog food that is easily mistaken for luncheon meat the Pacific is Australia’s backyard. Last time I checked a backyard was an area of open space at the rear of a dwelling, both the dwelling and the open space bounded by a fence. This is the classic Australian suburban set up, or it used to be until Australians realised they could sell their backyard for insane amounts of money to the entire generation desperate enough to build a house with no backyard. No outside area. So, just literally living in a box then. Sounds awesome. When I was a child, I would play in the backyard of whatever house we lived in this month. Well, I would sit under a tree reading a book in the cold of winter until I became extraordinarily ill. I was a bookworm. I hate Australia, torch the suburbs. Australia is a nation that sees nearby natio

The war in Ukraine continues. I didn't believe there was going be an invasion. Then I thought it was going to be over in a few days. A month in, keeping track of reality has become a real difficulty. I saw dozens of videos of people wrapped in packing tape, tied to lampposts, but I don't know who's doing it, or why, or when it happened. Sadists are having a field day under the cover of wartime nationalism. I watched a Danish documentary about soldiers going to Afghanistan, because I thought it might help me think through what is happening. At one point they commit a war crime. Having thrown a grenade at people who were shooting at them from a ditch, they enter the ditch and machine gun the severely wounded survivors. A soldier later comments, “Well, if you're not here, you don't understand what it's like.”  And something clicked for me. This is something I've heard so many times, as a civilian, from people who've committed atrocities. You weren't the

In the midst of climate catastrophe, Earth’s most famous handful of sausage meat, Elon Musk, reckons there needs to be a vastly increased output of fossil fuels in the cursed places where liberal democracy is practised. Let’s pretend for a moment he’s anything other than a rich kid who operates according to the epiphanies he experiences when he takes designer hallucinogens. His reasoning is that the free world needs to free itself of any reliance on fuel supplied by our naughty enemies that we worked closely with during the War on Terror. I don’t expect this tripper to have a normal understanding of anything, but even for Mr Novelty Flamethrower this thinking is unusually broken. As with many others, war fear has caused irreversible shrinkage of his already dangerously undersized brain. These techno champs never understand what needs to happen. What needs to happen is an honest negotiation with the Russian leadership that results in the end of hostilities. The problem with negotiations

  Some unexpected news, an exchange of thousands of nuclear missiles between the USA and Russia would probably be fine. So there it is, the worst thing anyone has ever said. According to my new favourite people, concerns about nuclear war are lies invented by hysterics as a cowardly excuse to abandon Ukraine to it’s fate. One moment, I need to crank up some brutal metal to help me survive this devastating journey through internet god emperor logic. Ah yes, the crushing riffage of Hate Eternal, formed 1997 in St Petersburg, Florida. To continue despite wanting to lie face down, what are these cranium warriors synapsing about? According to people who type things that make my eyes bulge uncomfortably, there are many myths about how nuclear weapons work. One is that they destroy “everything”. These staunch champions point to photos of Hiroshima that show some buildings kind of sort of still standing. There’s nothing alive in the buildings, they have no windows or doors, but bricks are seen

  I can’t get enough of highly educated citizens of the USA stroking their chins thoughtfully as they tweet about the Ukraine while massive, knotty turds that look like a child’s attempt at pottery fall out of their arses into the toilet of their fifth bathroom. They pace back and forth in their four car garages, vaping and formulating their high minded thoughts about a possible Russian invasion, apparently in a state of amnesia of their own support for not one, but two invasions of Iraq. They lean against the outdoor pizza oven they have never used as they ponder the complexities of a geopolitics they have been wrong about since before they were born. They suck their own cocks with a special tube they ordered online, I don’t know where I’m going with that image, but unlike these people I’m creative and sometimes when I’m creating something amazing and pure happens.       They hail a taxi and start a conversation about Russia. When the driver pauses to breathe on his rant about how Rus

  People who work in hospitals have been having an extremely bad time for two years with no let up. Healthcare workers are quitting, they’re walking away, but some who are completely burnt out are staying and their reasoning is that if they leave, people will die. This is tragic logic. If enough workers in hospitals stopped turning up to do their job, things would have to change, but good people insist on taking the weight of the world on their shoulders. Which means the world can’t change. This is being alive in a right wing world. Good people are the one thing putting off the collapse of a terrible world that deserves to die. Good people need to take themselves a bit less seriously and start thinking about what would happen if they walked away and allowed health systems to collapse properly. The current system is abusive of workers. It’s no secret that healthcare workers work ridiculous shifts, are put under insane pressure and this is done to them because they are either altruistic

Is the Russia-Ukraine situation the perfect opportunity for people to get angry at each other for being wrong? Like all citizens who live whole lives immersed in American propaganda I am an expert on Russia, but I'm still not confident about being correct. As for Ukraine, I have watched one very good movie and listened to two very good episodes of a podcast, so I guess you could say I'm a professor of Ukrainology. I don't know what's going on but I do know a) people are mad at each other and b) I am smarter than them. Unless they’re Ukrainians. But not if they’re Ukrainian Nazis. America’s soccer moms have a twelve inch hard-on for bloodshed and Russia is moving troops around in a way that indicates they’ve noticed the Imperial pre-come. It’s fair that people will be afraid and talking in terms of preventing war from breaking out. But it’s so hard to take it all seriously when you're aware that Ukraine has an impressive Nazi problem, as in Ukrainian Nazis who believ

Joe Rogan has an audience easily 10 times larger than the population of the United States, speaking purely in terms of ego footprint. To a man, Joe Rogan's audience are certified thought leaders. Joe Rogan is the pope of self improvement. Self improvement is when you listen to a podcast while prepping a smoothie with your own come in it. Joe Rogan’s influence over the minds of men is best explained by the fact that learning from Joe Rogan is like listening to the hypnotic sound of a library burning down. Every time you say Joe Rogan's name he becomes more powerful. He's like the candy man, no wait, his audience is like the candy man. Say his name and fans, men who are unaware of any other way to access information outside of a Joe Rogan podcast, but at a pinch will read books from KMart, will appear to lecture you to death, using quotes from Winston Churchill, who they believe was in the SAS. The Joe Rogan of Joe Rogan is that Joe Rogan only becomes more Joe Rogan if you ta