A New PM

1. Scott Morrison will make some bullshit Straya Fascism 2.0 move like making farmers double citizens. He is the new PM and he probably eats the mice and birds his cat drags in to the house. The new next this time no really Australian Prime Minister has rooted the same sock since he was 14. If he could bathe in the tears of low income earners he would do it and still be a sook about it. He is a bad person and we know this because Annabelle Crabb has seen his human side in an horrific mice eating ritual in his kitchen. If we can find and burn that sock maybe we can end him, but there is no "we" is there, there is only power and those who want to rub it all over their wobbly bodies at a really gross secret party in Canberra. Be glad you're not invited.

2. Apparently the new Australian Prime Minister is a "Daggy Dad". He's a bit of a silly billy around the house. He shits his pants in the kitchen. He lets his kids set fire to him. He eats dog food for a ten dollar bet. He crawls on broken glass such is his craving for power. He wears Marvel comics tee shirts to fucking Bunnings. He thinks he's his kids' best mate and they're gonna grow up to be maggots too. He goes to family restaurants and he jerks off in the toilet while staring into his own eyes in a little hand mirror. He puts on his wife's underwear and cries because he has pig love handles. He summons Satan but only a cold sore turns up. He has cheat days where he eats donuts and smokes crack in a motel with 13 year old boys shipped in from a war zone. He makes Harry Potter references. When he goes to church he imagines killing everyone in the building and then he realises he's got a stiffy and then the priest winks at him. He is part of a network of extremely damaged normal people who are rude to waiters. He makes Star Wars references. He cries himself awake every morning but that's not because he has a soul, it's because he purposely keeps his inner child trapped in his colon. He's Aussie as it gets m8. He's farkern Aussie as. He is perfect. Amen.