It's Best If You Think Of It As Black Comedy

I was eighteen and one of the peak local meatheads had just taken a shit in a neighbour's back yard, holding eye contact with the neighbour the whole time. This was Carrum in the eighties. Growing up we moved around a lot but finally settled on the most violent suburb around and there I remained from the age of twelve having horrible experiences until I was twenty-one.

Carrum was a hate camp and by the time I left my main skill was drinking until I vomited.

I was at the Prince of Wales in St.Kilda, blind drunk, and a friend of a friend offered to buy me a plane ticket so I could get away from all these people. 'These people' were the pissheads I gravitated to because hey, if everyone's drunk, everything's cool, but it wasn't cool, it was sad. Imagine that, a dude takes a shine to you and tells you you're wasting your talents. I didn't know I had any.

Around the same time I overheard a friend say to another, "He has no idea how talented he is". It was a great moment in overhearing but I really didn't know what they were talking about. People in charge of my upbringing had seen to that earlier.

It was decided I would go to a dying high school so I wouldn't lose touch with the common man. For the five minutes we had a Drama class I had the opportunity to write a little comedy sketch. I did so in one draft and was taken aside to be lectured about my shameful plagiarism. It wasn't plagiarism but hey, older person, so that was that. That was when I was sixteen and the end of any hope of me believing in myself.

You know how young people are groomed and encouraged to grow their abilities? I had the opposite of that.  Which you have probably worked out but repetition is an  important part of staying positive.

The other night I'm out at a gig and I realize people respect my work and enjoy my company. That's wonderful, but my past will never leave me and of course people close to me will tell me none of it happened they way I remember.

So not only am I haunted by the past, cunts want to argue about my ability to have memories. Amen.

 

       
 

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 6, 2013 at 12:08 AM

    You have a pretty rad gift of taking fucked up things from your past and making them funny. When I talk about fucked up things from my past it just makes people sad. Lately someone pointed this out to me and said I should write something about my future, so I did. Mine is is mostly just weird, but I'll bet if you wrote about your fantasy future it would be hilarious and awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sean BedlamFebruary 6, 2013 at 12:29 AM

      Thanks. I've been trying to write about this shit for years but only now have the skills to match the story. Also: I'm probably not as fucked in the head as I was. My fantasy future is always just me killing loads of people.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousMarch 16, 2013 at 10:59 PM

      Why does murder feel like the perfect response to concrete roads with nowhere to sit?

      Delete

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