Incel Comedy Night

I ended my hiatus from standup comedy last week and gosh it’s nice to be in comedy rooms with incels and at least one guy who could be a nazi. A young comic said that coming back after five years I must be bowled over by the wokeness going on. I had no idea how to answer because we had both just watched a dude going on and on about Auschwitz. I mean sure, he had some idea what he was doing. He didn’t just drop us in a pile of jokes about striped pyjamas, he prepped us by first making sure we all knew he was a racist.

I don’t understand what’s going on. There’s too much wokeness? Over the last week I’ve seen comics talking shit that only complete fuckwits would have bothered with ten years ago. I had a talk with a comic about this guy we both saw doing an endless bit about the F-word and the N-word. I walked away from this chat not wanting to talk about comedy with any more open mic comics. I reckon it’s fucking podcasts that have fucked everything up.

Young dudes are wandering around getting their heads filled with shit by dumbarses like Joe Rogan. They see a comic using the F-Word and the N-word in a hate filled rant and reckon that because it’s in the same shape as jokes it’s a) protected speech and b) anyone who hates it is being ridiculously sensitive. Over just three open mic nights I’ve seen no less than three seasoned comics who are trafficking in what I would call either hate speech, or so close to being hate speech that who gives a fuck, fuck these guys.

I mean, I say fuck these guys, but how can I, one powerless man, fuck these guys? The answer is I can’t. I have been through the nasty comedy phase of judging other comics for making choices I wouldn’t. Now I like coming at comedy like it’s a community, it feels better. These guys are setting themselves apart by being so joylessly angry, maybe that’s a good punishment. However they are going to keep shitting into microphones because throwing red meat to crowds of basics is a sure path to some success in Australia.

I’m no angel, I’ve said and done my share of fucked white man shit, but at least I was a creep about it, like a normal person. I didn’t angrily believe like these miserable bastards do that I should therefore be allowed to march in the Anzac Day parade. These champs want to be sucked off by the one hundred and two year old last remaining of the Rats of Tobruk for their part in the culture wars. Gentlemen, all you’re doing is abusing people. Do what I did and be surprised to find out you’re a fucking arsehole.

But of course admitting to being an arsehole is impossible in a society where right wing snowflakes get participation medals just for turning up.