Antibiotics Themed Wedding

Went to a lovely wedding and didn't talk to people if I could help it because I really wanted to be back at the comedy festival joking with heartless comics about my little cancer scare. Fucking hell. I shouldn't have gone. I felt so bad about wanting to talk about cancer. I looked great though.

I just could not face talking to other dudes, I knew I wasn't even slightly interested in anything they had to say and being me it would be written all over my awesome sunglasses. Partly it's a problem of not having kids, partly it's that the vibe in Castlemaine is so fucking nice. A fight involving bloodshed might have helped me relax. Purely as a spectator, mind. I love watching idiots hit each other.

Instead of that I found myself getting way too into the blues band, sitting there by myself and giving it loads of "Oh shit! Now we're talking!" and "Damn!" and, "Mmm....MMM!" Like a total fucktard. I don't even like the blues but the excitement of seeing performers doing their thing was too much for me. If I couldn't be at the festival doing hero spots at the late night bear pit I was gonna pretend I was in fucking Treme getting into the music of 'my people'. Being on antibiotics may have been a thing too.

At some point later I realize I'm too drunk to even dance to...I assume there was music...and had to sit down and tell some random lady I was abandoned by my mother. How cool. Jesus. My woman tells me we hugged and the nice lady said, "I'm hugging him as his mother". Christ. Being Blues Fuckhead was groovier than this deeply unhip healing experience.

At least I got to talk with my 12 year old niece and say all sorts of encouraging things while realising, "I won't remember this, but she will, because I'm pissed as fart, which also guarantees this is 100% heartfelt gold."  

      

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