Bronchitis

Yesterday I coughed up blood and though I went through no decision process that resulted in me thinking, "I have cancer", I did decide to go straight to the doctor just in case I had cancer and that made me cry because now I would have to clean up my shed because now I have cancer.

I don't have cancer, I have mild bronchitis, but for a little while yesterday the only way to Not Panic was to use my time thinking about settling up my affairs, the most menacing aspect of which would be cleaning up my fucking dirty fucking shed. Fuck it's a mess. I couldn't stand leaving behind a shed that other people would look at and laugh, saying, "That Seany, he's a character!" As they tried to make sense of what the fuck I thought I was thinking as I filled my shed with what looks exactly like garbage sprayed from a cannon.

I smoked cigarettes for twenty years and gave up after I started coughing uncontrollably at a meeting of Mildly Amusing Action Squad. One of the young pumpers at that meeting spoke up with the retarded nonsense that activists who smoke are hypocrites because they support, I dunno, Evil or some shit. Maybe my uncontrollable coughing was due to suddenly inhaling such a massive cloud of bullshit.

I have mild bronchitis and will get an xray and blood test but it looks like I'm very healthy and not just for someone who's been drinking and smoking for twenty years. I don't even mean I'm healthy for someone who's 44. I'm just amazingly healthy. However I may find out I have cancer in which case my standup comedy will change from merely angry to, "You all deserve to be oppressed because you're too fucking careful". Or I could just do that anyway.

   












  


     

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