The News


"The news is always terrible, it's supposed to be, no one wants to get out of bed in the morning and find out that nothing has changed. You want a good terror attack with your breakfast, something that makes life feel dramatic and important. If you want to heal a chronically bored life, get into the news, it's a literal train wreck.

But sometimes gawking at the unending horror is not enough. You think, should I be joining in? Am I bad if I'm just drinking in the spectacle but not doing any terrorism myself? But then you think what if I just get shot in face like I always do? What if I do a terrorism and people are like, too far man, you've overdone it, you've lost me! What if people are like, why couldn't you just stay at home like a normal person, why do you have to always commit hundreds of murders?

So here we are, you can either stay up to date with the news or you can be a terrorist, there is no middle ground. I feel like I am dangerously close to making some kind of point about the fractured times we live in. But are these fractured times? Is the world a scarier place? Is my brain being destroyed by having too much access to ridiculous opinions? I'm a fucking idiot. Thank you."

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