Moderate to Severe Beatings

So a group of boys were taking turns holding me still and punching me in the stomach as passing adults walked by pretending they didn't have eyes. Here I am copping this as part of an after school program run by the Lord of the Flies and these parents are rolling past with their own children, teaching by example the magic of temporary blindness. Let's arbitrarily choose this as the moment my problems with crowds of polite adults started. Any one of those people could have played the grown up card and shut down what was happening but they didn't. Why? Because most people presented with an emergency go all soft and will be turned to ash when Jesus returns with his laser sword.

Hi I'm Sean and I have a myriad of issues that have gradually hardened into a set of attitudes and beliefs about how the world works and how I will rule it after the Apocalypse. Well, my neighbourhood really, which I will enslave in an act of pragmatic self-care.

As a very damaged unit whose family blew apart like the space shuttle I have been through a lower middle class version of hell. I remember Grandma telling me when I was depressed that There Are Always Other People Worse Off. Considering I was only at her house to give dad a break from raising three boys who had been abandoned by their mother I struggle to imagine what could have been worse. Yes, to this day I believe people who lived through the Great Depression sustained brain damage.

My world tour of the broken home experience included lots of changes of school, sixteen at last count. When you change school at a young age the new group of kids look like their heads are all sort of warped and fucked. Maybe feeling like I was surrounded by a fresh batch of aliens made me behave oddly, but whatever I was doing wasn't helping my cause, because I was bashed at every school. The beatings didn't stop until the last year of primary school.
What happened that year was worse guys lol!

That last year I committed the kind of faux pas that matters to repressed children desperate to appear normal and managed the feat of being bullied by most of my year level. It was one of the worst times of my life. Those suburban spawn broke me with a systematic program of verbal abuse (and I say Systematic since this shit could only happen because nasty small communities spring up in places like schools and they absolutely rely on people in authority turning a blind eye for the sake of smooth routine.)

As a kid I experienced all I could need to feel like an outsider no one gives a rat's arse about. What I've learned is that most of you won't survive climate change because you can't deal with change. So with not that long until Melbourne International Comedy Festival starts you should book tickets to my show because society is about to crushed and your chances of survival are fuck all.

Just jokes guys lol!

Fuckers.  

Tickets to Two Bearded Ladies