The Long and Fucked Now


The new miracle of modern parenting is that it taps the newborn motherfather into ancient wisdom(TM) which causes the parentard to instantly graduate as a medical doctoring expert (children a specialty.) What a golden age we live in, where as if by magic each new parent is granted secret disease knowledge that applies only to their own child. Even if it kills other children. If that isn't unconditional love I am not correctly understanding the precious concepts of the long and fucked now.


Measles Outbreak In Germany Outpaces US By About 270 Cases, Yet Vaccination Debate Remains Relatively Silent

It's nice to be able to reach for an example of thinking so diseased it causes the spread of real live disease. Just think! It's now possible to kill people just by talking a load of garbage. The latest news is that society will be crushed by 2090 if we don't get a wriggle on, but if steampunk diseases are making a comeback our first step must be to cut off the internet access of people reintroducing measles using only their minds. And that means concentrating them into camps where we can keep a very judgemental eye on these dangerous scary motherfuckers.

Unbearable heat will crush society 'by 2090 without change'

We've long known childbirth causes mental illness in the criminally over-privileged and we've lived with their fucking offspring and wondered therefore whether humanity is worth saving. We have 75 years left thanks to climate change, but approaching that end point will be like travelling into a black hole: the sense of being crushed starts a long fucking way out and in reality we have a handful of years to turn this shit around. And start shitting in another direction? No! We have to cut the shit. The shit has got to stop.

Being a race of shit people has been fun, but it's a luxury we can no longer afford. Now don't go getting spiritual on me, all I mean is we have to have a look at what is going on, quail in terror and continue with some sense of humility. We're beyond argument and debate and all that shit overtired teenagers get up to on the internet. It's time for action.

When concentration camps and democracy clash

Can I be the first to put my hand up and volunteer to be a guard at our new anti-vaxxer concentration camps? I reckon I'd be real good at it. Haha, not really guys. Pay me. The future is not going to be delivered to you by the usual tiny number of activisty people giving up their time, money and sanity. It's up to the wider community to find it in their hearts to donate energy to a project to round up criminally insane parents and warehouse in them in terrible conditions that quite specifically break their spirits.

The beauty of this undertaking is anti-vaccine fuckmindedness is across the board behaviour. Left and Right, together we can build barbed wire enclosures to scapegoat people who not only want to feel persecuted and special but should be detained, soon and indefinitely.

Let's bring us together guys. We deserve this.

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