Get in losers, we're going extinct!

The inside of my head looks like a disused petrol station. I've run out of ideas. It feels good. This is probably the perfect time to get into crypto currency.

I want to use special money that only works if I pretend to understand it. I want to dabble in chaos and attain wealth doing so. I am too stupid to get confused. I want in on the pyramid scheme before it collapses and ruins everyone who isn't me and is therefore a loser.

Also, I don't know what they are, people have been talking about them for a long time, no one is able to explain what they actually do, or are for, but apparently, thanks to Non Fungible Tokens I can buy the worst art that has ever existed? Yes please. With a few keystrokes I can spend naughty pretend money to have the experience of not quite, but sort of, but not really, owning art that gives anyone with a pair of eyes the eye shits? Art that exists to enrage elitists with their revolting appreciation of things that glow with substance and are beautiful?

I mean I've done cocaine. I know what it's like to be on drugs that have landed in my possession thanks to unusually committed businessman who cut the heads off their opposition and dangle their bodies from bridges. I have courageously managed to enjoy that cocaine, but to be fairly directly involved in the money laundering processes of these dark princes through cryptocurrency? To gamble, using money that could disappear at any moment? To speculate on art that looks like the artist has given up and is now just masturbating in front of me like a trapped chimp? Where do I sign?

I'm so excited to be part of a new experiment in nihilism, that utilizes the amazing invention of computertronix, using electricity that could power the hopes and dreams of entire countries and in the process, thanks to mind blowing amounts of carbon being spat out into the atmosphere, highly likely destroying any hope of a future.

Thanks to capitalism, anyone with a bit of money can buy into a scheme to legally make Earth largely uninhabitable. Try to be positive about it or be a yucky hater.

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