Hog Patrol

 I don’t hate cops, I hate the police force, and most cops, and some of their children, especially when the little pricks are nazis. Officers, anytime you want to take off your uniform you are welcome to join the human race. You will also need to take down those instagrams where you wrote that you are so proud of your son. He was wearing nazi merch. I just think it will help your case. I hate you. Rub cancer on your balls. You kill people. 

I’m going to the Trans Day of Visibility at State Library Melbourne this Friday and expect the cops to be openly angry that people haven’t forgotten they helped nazis do hitlers on the steps of Parliament only a fortnight ago. “How dare these people judge me”?, they’ll sniffle, “I am the law! Are you looking at me? Are you talking to me? Am I a clown to you? Am I funny to you?” In my mind a cop’s self talk that tries to happen in his brains is just things he remembers from before passing out in front of the TV, again.

My guess is cops watch the same shit I do. John Wick; Michael Mann’s 1995 crime masterpiece Heat; Ghost Dog; Chow Yun Fat in John Woo’s The Killer; Sicario; but I doubt they understand what’s happening. Just joking, there’s no way a cop is watching Ghost Dog. A cop watching a Jim Jarmusch movie? Come on. He wouldn’t be able to stop scratching his arsehole and checking his phone with his filthy arsehole fingers. 

Cops aren’t stupid, they just have a very black and white view of the world, which is the same as being stupid. On the flipside they remind me of those lightweights who start philosophizing at you if the talk accidentally turns to anything real and bad in the world. You cannot beat a progressive’s ability to open their arms to the world and all it’s difficult complexities when they are presented with a social justice question with a yes or no answer. 

I was described by a seppo as anti-liberal recently and yes, I guess I am, in that I am anti all their mealy mouthed bullshit, their lightweight belief in heavyweight systems of oppression, their incredible belief that the police force has factions that can be appealed to, their belief that good cops can make a difference down at the police station, the same place where cops shoot themselves in the head in the changing room.

How many cops have brushed their teeth with a handgun in the AFP building in Melbourne’s CBD? I can think of two, which seems like a lot. One also reflects on how cops let a madman drive over people and kill them on the footpaths of that CBD only a few years agao. So what do cops do? Other than support nazis, bully cops to death for not supporting nazis and provide safe streets for nazis and crazy killer car murderers? Oh that’s right, they celebrate their evil offspring on the socials. 

Maybe you have a view that you should hold space for cops, but the Buddha teaches us not only to meditate on compassion, but also to practice discrimination, that is, to wisely perceive that while all is one, one thing is not another thing, and all cops are bastards. You won’t go to hell for having a practical view of what the police force really is, but we’ll all have a bad time if we think of the pigs as the nice piglets we want them to be in our hearts, as opposed to the hogs they function as right now. 

Anyone with any further questions about what cops are after the cop nazi lovefest of the 18th is lost in the hogosphere, floating on a cloud of philosofarts.

Oh no, my laptop battery is nearly flat, I have to stop writing about this thing that gives me the shits.