Bucks

Hang on, people do bucks parties at the Melbourne Cup? How does all of creation not get sucked into that black hole?

 What's a bucks turn at the Cup like? Does the man who is going to marry an alive woman eat vomit out of a bin? What are the antics?

 Does the buck have to sprint out and touch the dead horse's dick? How is this double barrelled funpocalypse celebrated?

 Does the buck have sneak into the celeb area and browneye an AFL rapist? What happens at this hardcore celebration of life at it's most pure?

 At what borderline hellish piss-sinking sesh does anyone decide to celebrate a bucks turn at a wall to wall vomit club?

 How do you know you've lost your soul and died like at a proper pre-wedding ritual if you're at the Cup, where that's just a normal day?

 In closing, I am not at all against getting super fucked up, but try not to be a penal colony every fucking day Australia.

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